By Susan Letterman White
Microaggressions are commonplace daily verbal or behavioral slights that are often unintentional, yet communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative attitudes toward culturally marginalized groups. As leaders, it is important to act in ways that contribute to a culture of inclusion. That means considering what you will do when you are either the recipient of a microaggression or the observer of a microaggression directed at another person.
Whether to act or stay silent depends on many factors and the decision of whether to act, and if, what to say or do, is an example of a difficult leadership decision. Factors to consider include what the actual recipient of a microaggression wants, the good of the entire group or organization in which the event happened, the timing and surrounding circumstances of the event, and if action is the conclusion should it be done publicly or privately.
Additionally, you should consider whether acting will escalate a situation in an unhelpful or dangerous way. Is there a risk of danger to physical safety? Will the utterer become excessively defensive in a manner that is better handled privately or not alone? If the relationship is important to you, how will what you say affect the relationship?
Some scholars have criticized the microaggression concept thinking it promotes psychological fragility and possibly stalls the development of skills to stand up for oneself. Certainly, the developmental trajectory of the individual recipient is important, as is what the individual wants to happen. Regardless, there is no excuse for leaders who do not recognize the harm microaggressions can cause and consider what they will do when it happens.
It takes courageous leadership to manage one’s emotions and also the behaviors of others in conflict situations. When a person uses a microaggression, regardless of whether it is aimed at a particular person or just offered as a poor joke, that action sets up a conflict, because, at the very least, it should not be an acceptable behavior in an inclusive workplace.
The conditions that contribute to or subtract from leadership courage are rarely discussed. There are four conditions that all leaders should cultivate.
First, they should have a mental health, self-care routine. When we feel emotionally well, we are better able to think constructively, call on a reserve of energy, and have difficult conversations.
Second, leaders should be able to reframe a difficult situation as a challenge and ask: How might I address this challenge? Related to this concept is the third condition. Leaders should conduct a cost-benefit analysis that highlights the benefit of being courageous, which often means not falling back on default ways of thinking, feeling, and acting and instead practicing new and different approaches. For example, if speaking up seems like the right decision, but also difficult, highlight the benefits of acting and the risks of doing nothing. For example, you might say, “Do I want to stay silent and feel bruised and belittled or do I want to speak up and feel my self-worth and power as a leader here?”
Finally, leaders should remind themselves of a commitment to developing a growth mindset and putting that to use. If the behavior seems challenging and difficult, it ought to signal a growth opportunity for learning or honing a valuable skill. Lean in and grow as a leader. Growth is often better as a team sport. If you are able, form a leadership support group where you can share stories of trying, learning, and growing and introduce a cultural norm where leaders prize the attempts of their colleagues and direct reports who share such stories.
Courageous leaders may be ready to say or do something in response to a microaggression and still not know what to say or do. If it happens to you, it’s your choice whether to act or not. If you observe an event, it may be your responsibility to act or act in a particular way to comply with organization rules.
If you decide to act, use feedback approaches that have the highest likelihood of being beneficial. A skillful feedback response is delivered as close as possible in time to the event, criticizes the behavior rather than the person, uses “I” statements, and is clear about the behavior that must change. For example, you might say, “When you said X, I felt Y. In the future, I would prefer if you did not say/do X. I understand that you may not have intended me to feel this way. Perhaps you were making a joke or you think I’m overreacting. However, our working relationship is important enough for me to speak up. I hope you understand.
