By Susan Letterman White
Communication Tips for Productive Conversation Introduction:
Good communication along with relationship development and management are two interests that are at the foundation of productive meetings, retreats, and conversations, especially those in support of a change initiative. Communication between two people is a two-way process of perception, reflection and sense-making, creating an intention for a reply, and responding. People often start with very different perceptions of events. It’s no surprise that they reach different conclusion about meaning and appropriate responses. Communication Quality refers to the degree to which people understand the messages intended by each other. By listening and checking for understanding, in a back and forth fashion, the two people negotiate a shared understanding. Then, they are able to build on that foundation of shared understanding to identify options and design solutions. This valuable skill improves leadership efforts to drive change initiatives and the efforts of those who are trying with other to make sense of and adjust to changes in their environment.
Principles of Production Communication:
Productive communication solves problems and develops new ideas. It builds mutual understanding and develops relationships. There are six principles of productive communication to support mutual understanding and uncover options for strategic action. They are:
Communicate purposefully
Listen to understand
Suspend judgment
Identify interests
Brainstorm options
Design solutions
1.) Communicate purposefully means that you have a clear intention of how you want your communication to affect another person. Questions to ask yourself before you communicate include:
What is your purpose?
What are the messages you want to send?
To whom is each message directed?
How can you best convey your message?
2.) Listen to understand means that you listen to another person without planning your response. After carefully listening to understand the person’s interests, you ask questions to check whether or not your perception of the communication is what the person intended to communicate to you. Statements to seek understanding are open ended questions or requests for elaboration and begin with:
Let me see if I understand, you said…
Did you mean…
Tell me more about…
3.) Suspend judgment means that you are curious to discover what information and assumptions are behind a person’s statements. You refrain from stating your position and arguing and instead you state your interests. You wonder why something communicated is important to the person communicating. Questions to show curiosity and suspend judgment are:
Why is that important?
Why is that a concern?
Why does that matter?
What leads you to that conclusion?
4.) Identify interests means identifying goals, wants, needs, expectations, concerns, and hopes.
Disclose your interests.
Listen for and acknowledge the interests of others.
Clarify your understanding of others’ interests.
Look for and identify shared interests.
5.) After everyone has had an opportunity to identify their interests and understands the interests of others, the group can brainstorm options to satisfy as many interests as possible. It is not the time to evaluate the options. It is the time to generate as many options as possible. Look for and identify shared options.
6.) Designing solutions means jointly discussing the options and how each satisfies interests. It is the time for evaluating solutions. Look for fairness, reasonableness, and the ability to implement the solutions. Do you need to add in time management or accountability processes for ideal solution implementation?
