By Susan Letterman White
Developing Curiosity for Better Communication
Curiosity is at the Foundation of Collaborative Communication
Curiosity is the ability to suspend judgment about what you see and hear in favor of gaining a more comprehensive understanding about meaning. In two way communication, we often jump to a conclusion about what we believe the meaning is behind a statement. In particular, people often state their positions instead of stating their interests - their goals, wants, needs, expectations, concerns, motivations, and hopes. People hearing positions then evaluate those positions through their lens of what is fair and reasonable. Options are eliminated before they are even identified because there is not opportunity to first identify interests, discover possible overlaps, and co-design solutions that meet the most important interests of each person.
Argyris and the Ladder of Inference: Instead of curiosity, people often run up the ladder of inference and restrict what they notice, how they make sense of what they notice, and ultimately, their choice in action. It starts when a person begins with a position in mind, which may limit the data the person notices.
The curious mindset begins with a suspension of judgment. Judgment and the allure of proving a position’s value is replaced with asking what information and assumptions are behind your position as well as the statement of others. You wonder and ask why something seems so important. Questions to show curiosity and suspend judgment are:
Why is that important?
Why is that a concern?
Why does that matter?
What leads you to that conclusion?
